Thursday, November 30, 2006
Term test juz round the corner...gotta study next wk... need to use y theory papers to help me wif my SSSD which i tink the assignment i done will be like shit! so....next 2wks will be another wk where i need to give up on my World Of Warcraft again T_T....
some tings happened recently...and can see tat every1 is bz wif their assignments...including me...and tis assignment is my first assignment tat i really rush and do...and is the first whr i get panic easily...i really dont have much time for luxury...as i need to finish off my tings b4 time go against me....frm thur onwards...i will have little time to do my assignment...im so bz tat i dont even have time to really tok on the net wif my frens....even in sch i cant really give every1 their attention...sometimes i tok to my frens to rest juz a little...while sometime is im helping my fren or they are helping me....i really have no choice but to keep pushing myself and ended up not seeing or hearing wads gg on ard me...
funny ting is during tis assginment, lesser ppl asked my for help...and no one asked frm me my work...unlike last few semesters...some ppl asked me for help alot....but tis semester they didnt ask...so i treat it as they noe wad to do...so i hope after tis wk tings will be a little more relaxed for me...
12:28 AM
Tuesday, November 28, 2006
Tis wk im damn stressed up wif my assignments...having to rush to finish up my SSSD assignment by Wed and i cant seem to do it...wth... i looked so lousy whn i looked at my frens' work...my work is like so damn lousy...and far beyond their standards...
Worse ting is i didnt do my work on my own...and I planned and wanted to do it on my own... but i end up looking at ppl's codes and doing it...so im no different from copying...and is like hw i did my work for the pass semesters...
damn pissed wif myself for all tis...unable to solve my probs, unable to do tings correctly, unable to archive a higher standard...hw am i suppose to improve my GPA tis manner...FUCK IT!!!!
11:48 PM
Monday, November 27, 2006
Sat and Sun was a fun time man....well on sat did some last min shopping for cy's present...although didnt get the ting tat i planned to buy...but hope tat she will like it... had a collboration wif her sec sch frens to go to her hus to give her a surprise...and i say it was a great success...and the best moment was whn cy's face got smashed into the cake we bought for her...classic i tell u...wahahahaha....BUT...I, who was standing at the side doing nth and laughing...was the 1st to get the cake smack across my face for her revenge(y am I the first???)...but nvm...is her bday so shall not complain...let her be happy for once....then slacked at her hus till ard 3am...thn wnt hm slpt for 4hrs b4 gg to yt hus to do assignment.... slpt at yt hus for 15min to get back some energy...
Thn met cy and her frens at 7 to watch Happy Feet...the show is damn cute la i tell say...the penguins all so cute....haha...
so tats abt all tat happened for 2 days....kinda happening if ya ask me...shall upload ANY fotos soon(IF i ever get them)
12:21 AM
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Tings are happening all ard me...and its been a really really really really long time whn i had a nice slp without any thoughts in my head...things juz keep coming and going to make my head occupied...
well nth much else to say...juz tat whn a prediction/thinking/feeling keep coming true...it can be really scary...
1:36 AM
Sunday, November 19, 2006
wnt vivocity wif my parents today...really big man...like Rivervalley in M'sia...well is a gd place for celebrations wif frens...like celebrating x'mas or new year there will be good... well got alot of ppl there...but tink will slowly drop whn the days pass since is new so ppl go take a look...after awhile tings sure to be slower and less crowded...
see lots of couple there too...wonder y so many couples like to go there...funny...haha... well maybe next time shall go there and slack wif my frens....
11:22 PM
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Today went to The Motor Show...is damn nice...the cars and the models...took some pics wif the models...haha...gd choice i made to go tis yr...
main purpose of tis post to juz to say sorry to someone...and i really wish that i can amend my mistakes...once again sorry
p.s: i dont want any commets abt tis post thx...
11:37 PM
Friday, November 17, 2006
Today watched the finals for the IT director's cup...quite an exciting match which has a close score...but the team tat i wished to lose, won in the end...but overall is nice...
now i really wish i can have an answer for one qn in my head.. and able to do someting to it...im in major battle wif myself of wad to do...half of me say to do tis..the other half say to do tat...i really do not know what to do...
and now i tink tat i did some mistakes and donno if it was a rite move to do...really wish i had a time machine wish i can go back in time and stop the tings i done...haix i really do not know what to do...
9:44 PM
Monday, November 13, 2006
ever wondered wad will happen if there is a time machine??? wad will u do??? If u are able to go back in time whn u tink is the best momory u had and had the most fun, If u are able to go back in time to undo tings tat u now regret, and to re-live a moment tat u wished tat i will stay tat way forever... every think of all these??? Is really someting tat can leave u wondering forever...
And how about if u wish tat someting else had happened instead of another??? Well i do..some times i tink if the other tings had happened will it have the same outcome??? or tings will somehow work its way to the same conclusion??? i really wonder...
and i really wish tings will be the same...i hope tat tings can be more normal wifout any changes to it...juz hope tat tings will turn for the better...
6:11 PM
Friday, November 10, 2006
now frm the tings i see... i see tat im out of place... and tat nobody will care if im in there...all the people are happily living their life wif a grp of frens... maybe i USED to have tis kind of luxury, or tink is juz a FLUKE and is an illusion and was nvr a reality...
I feel tat im a small significance in a grp...whether thr is me or not, is not impt...and decisions making can still be done if im not ard...im juz a small pawn piece tat sits at the frontline and waiting to get taken off the stage...
ppl i noe said tat they wish they can do more thn wad they are now...like being more thn juz entertainer, being a water-boy, and being someone helping other ppl to do some tings...well at least they got the attention of other ppl tat they are ard and tat they are there... i really ENVY them...being outcasted is hw i tink i am now...
and whn ppl notice tat i existed...is whn they are like "we don't have enuf ppl", "i have no one to disturb", "there is no more ppl to ask to go out"... all tis makes me feel tat im juz a extra piece of ting tat is optional to fill in a gap in between...
even now i feel tat im more outcasted thn b4...having a fren to say tat he/she(shall not be spacific) feel tat he/she is being outcasted by someone else wif juz a sentance...but now look at them...gd frens once agn...do they realli noe hw it feel to be outcasted...
whn frens go out in a grp they tink of one another and ask each other to go out...but the way i feel abt myself is tat even im in a grp...no body really care if i go out...and tat im not in the grp at all...i now even feel tat i getting more distant wif my closest grp...is it bcoz of diff options or im juz a freaking small significance in tat grp tat wifout me there will be no diff...
im really tired frm all tis...having to keep following grps here and there...trying my best to get close to thm, but still ended up wif a large gap in between which can nvr be closed up... im tired...i had tried and tried but no progress...
final words---- for those who tink that they are not impt becoz they help other ppl do small tings...tink agn...if u tink the ting u are helping is small..thn do u tink the person u are helping will ask u do help do such stuff...so dont go round complaining tat u are not impt....
9:41 PM
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
ok i gonna speak my mind here...wth...do u guys tink wad u are doing are funny??? is it funny??? well to me it is NOT funny and i actually find it LAME and RUDE...put urself in their shoes...do u like it...wth...go tink abt ur actions man....
ok i wont say i really listen to the lect...but at least i didnt not make fun of the teacher or disturb other ppl...and i admit sometimes i tok...but i tok in a manner tat onli the person im toking to will be able to listen...thn in the lect..there are ppl happily toking like no body business...wake ur idea man...if u dont wanna study thn wad for u come in to the lect hall...if coz of aircon...there are other places tat has air-con...wth...sick and tired of there actions....
12:21 AM
Saturday, November 04, 2006
well somehow quite a few ppl manage to see thru my disguise and noe tat im not my old self tat they used to noe....the typical ans i gave is "i donno y i li tat oso"... but deep down in my heart i noe the ans... onli i dont wish to say it out to other ppl knowledge...
like i said b4...after my trip from viet...my life is in a mess... bad tings juz come one after another...after one is done...the other come...i dont have any breaks to tink thru all the tings...tat leads me to my recent mood of big time siansiation... well tats my life now...in a mess and going downhill bigtime(maybe i can drift down the course =X)
-messy-
11:56 PM
Friday, November 03, 2006
now i keep tinking of someting in its worse case scenerio, and tink tat wad if it really happens??? What will i do??? will i be able to face it??? all the unanswered qns in my head...
well not really in a proper mood tis whole wk...but i guess i will juz walk one step count as one step...
must confess tat i kept tinking of_______________whn im unable to see_______.
and whn i see ____________ it juz made me a little happier somehow...
-.-
12:21 AM
Thursday, November 02, 2006
well i donno wad is happening... but all of a sudden i feel sian of every single ting... sian of gg to sch, sian of being at hm, sian of playing games, sian of watching tv....juz sian of everyting...wonder wad is happening to me
is tis the after effect of tinking too much??? is tis a symptom of depression/stress/pressure??? wad is it???
well frm the way i look at it, tis maybe one of the down in my life...i donno... and tings dont seem to be getting better day by day...instead it juz remains the same...
wif all tis i really dont not have much mood to do anytings...and plus i juz cant get sumting out of my mind...i kept tinking non-stop...haix...
-SIANZ-
12:38 AM
